Why did I agree to do this?!

I’m the type of person that likes to conquer my fears (or so I like to think). For some reason I find myself agreeing to do things that I am completely petrified to do. Probably because they are things that prove I’m confident and things that I one day hope to be really good at, but for now…I can definitely admit I am not.

I can’t control the fact that I put myself in this position time and time again. My mouth opens up and I volunteer to take on tasks that I know for a fact give me anxiety! Like public speaking, or say… an online radio show… or cold calling! All things that many people steer clear from because all of the above make you vulnerable to rejection, embarassment and most of all panic attacks.

Today I agreed to take on one of these tasks, and as I sat on my chair, drinking my iced coffee I turn on my computer and it finally hit me! This entails cold calling absolute strangers. It was like I knew what I was getting into the whole time but I didn’t REALLY think I would have to (don’t ask why). Once I realize this my body goes into a state of shock and nervousness kicks in. I break out in hives, I start panicking, a million things run through my head but mostly I always ask myself WHY DID I EVER AGREE TO DO THIS??AND NEVER AGAIN!!

However, I have yet to learn my lesson to stop myself from selflessly volunteering to take on the ‘daring’ jobs and here I sit contemplating what tomorrow will bring- having first a radio interview, and then some more cold calling which I will obsess over for the rest of the night!

I keep hoping it gets easier with every experience… So far, that hasn’t been the case-I still panick.

*On the up-side, once done with these tasks I feel a sense of accomplishment!